Meeting new people online has become completely normal. Many people make genuine friendships or even meet long-term partners through dating apps and social media. But it’s important to remember that not everyone online is who they claim to be. Taking a few simple precautions can help you enjoy getting to know someone while keeping yourself safe with online dating.
Go Slow!
It’s easy to get caught up in exciting conversations, especially if someone seems to say all the right things. However, trust is something that’s built over time. Be cautious if someone quickly declares their feelings for you, wants to move the relationship forward very fast, or pressures you to keep your conversations secret. Getting to know someone properly before meeting in person gives you a better chance of spotting any warning signs.
Keep Personal Information Private
When chatting online, avoid sharing information that could identify where you live, work or study. This includes your home address, daily routine, passwords, banking information or other personal details. You don’t owe anyone this information, even if you’ve been talking for a while.
Check They are Genuine
Before arranging to meet, it’s sensible to make sure the person is who they say they are. You could:
- Have a video call before meeting
- Check that their social media accounts look genuine and consistent
- Be cautious if they refuse to video call or always have an excuse why they can’t
Remember, fake online dating profiles can look convincing, so don’t rely on photos alone. There is also a threat from AI profiles, so it’s important to check out their wider online presence to add to their validity.
Always Meet Somewhere Public
For your first meeting, choose a busy public place such as a café, shopping centre or restaurant during the daytime or early evening. Avoid meeting at either person’s home until you’ve got to know each other much better. Make sure you text a friend or loved one the date details or share your location in case you need them in an emergency or you feel unsafe.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 999.
Where possible, travel independently so you can leave whenever you want. Avoid relying on the other person for lifts, especially on a first date. Having your own way home means you’re always in control.
Trust Your Instincts!
If something doesn’t feel right, you don’t need to explain or justify leaving. Your safety is more important than worrying about hurting someone’s feelings. If the person becomes angry because you want to leave, tries to isolate you, or pressures you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, leave as soon as it’s safe to do so.
If you’re drinking alcohol, keep your drink with you at all times and never accept drinks you haven’t seen being prepared. Know your limits so you stay aware of your surroundings and never feel pressured into drinking or taking drugs to impress someone.
Some behaviours should make you pause and think carefully, including someone who:
- Wants to move the relationship very quickly
- Tries to isolate you from friends or family.
- Makes you feel guilty for setting boundaries
- Pressures you into sharing intimate photos.
- Asks for money, gift cards or financial help
- Gets angry when you don’t reply immediately
- Tries to make you feel responsible for their emotions
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and choice not pressure or control. If you feel uncomfortable or unhappy at any time – leave!
And Remember…
Online dating can be a great way to meet new people, but your safety should always come first. You should never feel embarrassed about taking precautions. The right person will respect your boundaries, understand your need to stay safe, and never pressure you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
The best relationships begin with honesty, respect and trust, and those things are worth waiting for – however you meet.
For further reading, check out Brook’s article on online dating advice, or see our other Nookie Knowledge articles!