Introduction
Child to Parent Violence and Abuse, often referred to as CPVA, and Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse, APVA, remain among the least understood and most hidden forms of domestic abuse in the UK. While public narratives around domestic abuse traditionally focus on adult partners, thousands of parents and carers experience fear, control and harm at the hands of their own children. This form of abuse cuts across social class, culture and family structure, yet shame and stigma often prevent families from seeking help.
This blog explores what CPVA and APVA are, how they present, why they happen and what support looks like in the UK context. It aims to raise awareness, reduce blame and provide an evidence based understanding that centres compassion, accountability and safeguarding for everyone involved.
What is Child to Parent Violence and Abuse?
Child to Parent Violence and Abuse describes a pattern of behaviour in which a child or adolescent uses violence, threats or controlling behaviour towards a parent or carer. It can include physical violence, verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, financial control and damage to property. Crucially, CPVA is not defined by a single incident but by a repeated pattern that creates fear and distress for the parent.
The UK government defines CPVA as a form of domestic abuse, recognising that parents can be victims and children can be perpetrators while still being children in need of support (Home Office, 2021).
How CPVA and APVA Present in Everyday Life
Parents experiencing CPVA often describe living in a state of constant alert. A simple request to turn off a game, attend school, or complete a household task can escalate into shouting, threats or physical aggression. Some parents report being hit, kicked or pushed, while others experience intimidation through smashed objects, blocking exits or threats of self harm.
Emotional abuse is common and can be deeply damaging. Children may use insults, humiliation or blame, telling parents they are worthless or responsible for the child’s distress. Financial abuse can also occur, particularly with adolescents who demand money, steal from parents or coerce them into debt.
Many parents minimise these experiences, telling themselves it is just teenage behaviour. Over time, however, the impact can be profound, affecting mental health, employment, relationships and parenting confidence.
Why Does Child to Parent Abuse Happen?
There is no single cause of CPVA. Research shows it is usually linked to a combination of individual, family and wider social factors. These may include neurodivergence, trauma, attachment difficulties, exposure to domestic abuse, mental health challenges and unmet emotional needs (Holt, 2016).
For some young people, abusive behaviour is a learned response. Children who have witnessed violence or coercive control may replicate these patterns in the home. Others may use aggression as a way to communicate distress, fear or a lack of emotional regulation skills.
Importantly, understanding contributing factors does not excuse abusive behaviour. A trauma informed approach recognises that children can be both harmed and harmful, and that accountability and support must exist side by side.
The Impact on Parents and Families
Parents experiencing CPVA often feel intense shame and isolation. There is a pervasive fear of being judged as a bad parent or of having their child removed if they disclose abuse. As a result, many suffer in silence for years.
The emotional toll can include anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress and a loss of parental identity. Siblings may also be affected, either as direct targets or as witnesses to violence within the home. Family relationships can become organised around managing risk rather than connection.
Is CPVA a Safeguarding Issue?
In the UK, CPVA is recognised as both a safeguarding and a domestic abuse issue. Parents have a right to be safe, and children displaying abusive behaviour are often children with complex needs who require intervention rather than punishment alone (Association of Directors of Children’s Services, 2020).
Effective responses involve multi agency working, including children’s services, education, health and specialist CPVA services. Criminal justice responses may be appropriate in some cases, particularly where there is serious harm, but they should not be the default.
Getting Help and Support in the UK
Support for CPVA is growing, although access remains uneven. Specialist services focus on restoring safety, improving communication and helping young people develop emotional regulation and responsibility. Parenting programmes adapted for CPVA can help parents rebuild confidence and boundaries without relying on fear or force.
Early intervention is key. Schools, GPs and youth services play a vital role in identifying concerns and offering referrals before behaviour escalates. National organisations such as Respect, Family Lives and the NSPCC provide guidance and helplines for parents seeking support.
Child to Parent and Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse challenge deeply held ideas about family roles and power. Acknowledging that parents can be victims and children can be abusive is uncomfortable, but necessary.
By naming CPVA, sharing accurate information and promoting compassionate, evidence based responses, we can reduce stigma and improve outcomes for families. Safety, accountability and support are not opposing goals. They are essential parts of the same solution.
References
Association of Directors of Children’s Services (2020) Child to parent violence and abuse: Practice guidance. London: ADCS.
Holt, A. (2016) Working with adolescent violence and abuse towards parents. Bristol: Policy Press.
Home Office (2021) Domestic abuse statutory guidance. London: HM Government.
Respect (2022) Child to parent abuse: A practitioners guide. London: Respect.